For some reason I woke up way to early this morning with an overwhelming sense of dread and uneasiness. I tossed and turned for several hours before deciding to get up an do something different. I sifted through old thoughts and memories. Read through my ancient blog on Myspace and laughed at how much of a douche I was. I skimmed through some messages from when I was in high school. Fuck, I was a stupid kid, but at least I stuck with my decisions and those have built me into the person I am. I really miss that ability I had to be incredibly critical and honest with myself. I miss having some actual challenge from life, mostly provided by school, and the stimulation my mind had. I miss writing almost every day and I miss my ability to eloquently put down in words what my heart was saying.
To all the people who told me I was being stupid by moving out or that they had lost respect for me because I was living with Tim: screw you. I was making my own choices. They might not have been the best, but they helped me learn and I couldn't be happier. When you've achieved the rank of "perfect" in life, then you can tell me what to do and how to do it better.
I still don't know why I feel so strange today.
