No Sympathy

Gosh, I really dislike my dad. Have I mentioned that before? Honestly. You'd think that people would understand how torn up I am right now, with the shit I've gone through this week. But no. He expects things to go on like any other week. Why? Because he only cares about himself. How often in my life am I going to experience a total break down like this? And he doesn't give a shit. He may have seemed understanding the past couple of days, but that was just because I haven't seen him much. Between my school and his work, along with me keeping to myself when I'm home, in my room, we don't see each other. But he's decided not to work lately. Urgh. And now, here comes my mother. Why do parents feel like they have to be a part of your life? The real difference between friends and family is friends are people you love by choice. Family, you have to love because you're stuck with them. It's not meant to be taken as an offence, that's just how I see it. Why can't people understand that? Gosh, I can't wait to get out of this house. And she's gone. She wanted to know "what's up." How can she even ask that question? Is she that oblivious? As my dad just said, they're a team. I don't want to share with them. I just want some space. Is that too much to ask? Yeah, I didn't want space today. What were my options? Stay home, sleep, and be scared of myself, or go out and be distracted. Yeah, I chose to go out with my friends and I tried to act happy because I knew that's what they wanted to see. Around my family, I don't really care. Yeah I've been hiding out in my room. I don't really want to spend extra time with them. Well, maybe with my brother, but even he can get annoying. I really am being selfish now. I think after what I've been put through, I deserve to be at least a little bit. I don't think I've ever been more depressed in my life. It's getting to the point where I might need help. From a professional. Which of course, we can't afford. Eh. I guess I'm used to it. Go figure.