Time

It really is amazing how things can go from spectacular to terrible in the blink of an eye.

I felt unstoppable today. I was excited for my future. I was incredibly pleased with the growth that I have felt in my soul recently. I was thankful for the lessons this has taught me. And most of all, I was so glad for the people who have been brought closer to me because of this.

Of course, I am still happy about all of those things, but I have been doused in darkness.

Those few words crushed my will. "We aren't friends anymore." It's like a small part of me believed that as long as I could retain this small amount of hope that he still cared for me, even if only a little, then it would be okay. But he doesn't. He never will.

I got what I wanted. I wanted to be free from him. So why do I still feel like he holds this power over me?

People have been telling me to stay strong.

When things seem as if they can't get any worse, then they do, and that is when we are truly tested. And at that point in which we lose all hope for everything, our true character is tested. One side finds the comfort and ease in letting go. Giving up. Pain doesn't matter if you can't feel anymore. The other side wants to hold on. It is overpowered by the other, because giving up is always so much easier. But this side is more determined. The side that wants to make it through holds all of our hopes and dreams. It is not willing to give up without a fight. It also holds happiness.

Now the question is whether I have the strength and courage to fight with that strong side of me. Can I trust myself again? Can I believe in myself again?

They also say it takes time. The most uncontrollable element. Can I find the perseverance to keeping going? Can I find the patience?

I want to. More than anything.

I have so much to offer. So many hopes and dreams. So many people whom I love.

I have to be strong. I can't give up.

If not for me, for them.