Relief

Months ago Nate and I decided to tie string around each other's wrists, almost like a promise bracelet or something to remind us of each other. Every time I looked down, I saw it and thought of him.

I've still been wearing it, all this time.

When I saw him tonight, with Emily, at the same concert I had asked him to go to with me and he didn't want to, something clicked inside me.

I sat in the back of the theater, enjoying the music as I dug my fingernails into my forearm. The pain of just seeing him there was like another blow to the heart. It hurt.

And then there was Nick, sitting next to me, making comments, and smiling. It was at about that point when the sadness vanished. The pain dulled. And I also started tearing at the string.

There are now welts on my wrist, but the bracelet is gone.

This whole time, I carried this love with me, just like the string. It was always there, always comforting, and always apparent to make me smile and think of him.

But in the end, it left marks on me and pain. Just like his false love.

I don't want to be ruined. I know I am capable of so much more. I'm sorry for all of you who have been reading this emotional progression I seem to be on. I just have to get my thoughts out. I don't know if I am making any sense.

I am ready to let go. Completely.

Will you be there to help me up if I stumble?