He will be my downfall. For the entirety of this past week I have been trying. We've ignored each other. I've grown and I'm extremely thankful for that. Then I got a message from him and it feels as if my entire resolve has crumbled.
Yes, I enjoyed some parts. Yes, being with him will always be a memorable experience. They say you never forget your first love.
And believe me, that's fine. I'm okay with remembering the good he and I once shared. But is it really reasonable to accept him back into my life again, even if it's minimal?
I've been doing so much better this week. I don't want to ruin it. No, I don't want to get close to him again. I don't want the temptation. I don't want to be hurt by him anymore. But that doesn't mean that I have to be rude about it. I'm not sure whether he actually wants to be my friend again or if he is just going to screw me over again. Quite frankly, I don't want to take the chance. I put my heart on the line too many times for him. I am not willing to do it anymore.
I want to believe that he can change. But I wanted to believe that last time. Will my past be my downfall?
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