So, go figure, things didn't go as I'd planed for today. Jon didn't really want to talk. He didn't apologize at all. He won't tell me what's wrong. All I take from that is I'm not good enough and he's gotten bored.
He said he needs the weekend to think about things. I know now that a breakup is inevitable. Oh well. I don't want to date anymore. End of senior year. Pah. Who needs fun. I'll graduate, get a job, move out, maybe do something with myself, and then give up my life for a good cause.
Every guy who has ever asked me out has turned out to be not at all who I expected. Those relationships have all turned out to be difficult and abusive. Every guy that I have ever liked and had the courage to ask out has turned me down. Clearly, I was not meant to have good relationships. Oh well.
This has happened too many times. I've gotten hurt too much. I'm beyond caring anymore. I'm not even crying anymore. It just isn't worth it. Nothing really is.
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