Friday, June 29, 2007
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Lost Hope
She looks at the clock. It's the time of wishes.
She throws herself on her bed, nearly in tears, and whispers "please."
She's wishing for something good to happen.
Something lucky.
Something she needs, but doesn't expect to get.
She looks back up at the clock and realizes her moment is gone.
The clocks run fast when it knows you've got a wish that can't be granted.
She throws herself on her bed, nearly in tears, and whispers "please."
She's wishing for something good to happen.
Something lucky.
Something she needs, but doesn't expect to get.
She looks back up at the clock and realizes her moment is gone.
The clocks run fast when it knows you've got a wish that can't be granted.
Monday, June 25, 2007
WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT?
How is it that I can be the kind of person who doesn't sink to the petty level of caring what others think about me and I get looked down on for it?
I wake up and read about my dream career and I get yelled at and falsely accused for doing something else.
I try to abide by unfair standards set for me. I make a mistake and can never be forgiven. They make a mistake and expect everything to be fine. It's no biggie.
I'm expected to act like an adult but am still treated like a three year old.
I cared more about life and those around me whom I love than the standards of the public education system. Apparently that's despicable.
No matter what I do I can't get a break. They tell me to grow up, so I try. They tell me to get a job, so I do. They tell me to clean, I do. If I remain human and slip up once, everything is thrown into the wind. No, I couldn't have possibly done anything good in the past because I made a mistake so obviously I'm a bad person.
WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT FROM ME?
I wake up and read about my dream career and I get yelled at and falsely accused for doing something else.
I try to abide by unfair standards set for me. I make a mistake and can never be forgiven. They make a mistake and expect everything to be fine. It's no biggie.
I'm expected to act like an adult but am still treated like a three year old.
I cared more about life and those around me whom I love than the standards of the public education system. Apparently that's despicable.
No matter what I do I can't get a break. They tell me to grow up, so I try. They tell me to get a job, so I do. They tell me to clean, I do. If I remain human and slip up once, everything is thrown into the wind. No, I couldn't have possibly done anything good in the past because I made a mistake so obviously I'm a bad person.
WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT FROM ME?
Friday, June 22, 2007
Yin and Yang
The good: things have somewhat evened out. It's summer. I have a lot of free time. I love the people I'm constantly surrounded by.
The bad: I can't sleep. I've bee having nonstop, relentless headaches. I keep getting screwed over by work. I'm nervous about the future.
Oh well. I'm still breathing so things are pretty okay.
The bad: I can't sleep. I've bee having nonstop, relentless headaches. I keep getting screwed over by work. I'm nervous about the future.
Oh well. I'm still breathing so things are pretty okay.
Monday, June 18, 2007
Push Me Away
God fuck I can not wait to be out of this house. I hate living with parents who have no respect or concern for anyone but themselves. You'd think that most parents would be concerned about other kids who are having issues with family and whatnot. Apparently not mine. They don't really care about much of anything if it doesn't immediately concern them. Also, I guess they are fairly concerned with standards of opinion set by society which I can't handle. How can you let a body of people set an assumed general consensus and then let your life be ruled by how people might react or think depending on what choices you make. Why let others' opinions control what you believe is right or wrong, depending on the situation? I've never understood why parents push their kids so far in what seems the wrong directions. Especially recently in the world. You would think parents would have a little bit more common sense. Just because you're a parent doesn't mean you are automatically right. Don't use the excuse of "Don't question me because I'm a parent." It doesn't make you want to be respected. Present a plausible excuse or reasoning and sure, I will try to see your logical side of things, but when you know you're beat, DON'T pull the "You're not being respectful because you're disagreeing" excuse. If human beings were meant to agree with everything in their lives, our minds would function a lot differently. Don't expect the unreasonable.
I can't wait to get out of here. I'm sick of seeing my friends who are closest to me being treated like shit because of power hungry parents. I hope those parents know how much they are screwing over their relationships with their kids. I hope they realize how much they are pushing us away.
I can't wait to get out of here. I'm sick of seeing my friends who are closest to me being treated like shit because of power hungry parents. I hope those parents know how much they are screwing over their relationships with their kids. I hope they realize how much they are pushing us away.
Friday, June 08, 2007
Over!
Yesterday was my last day of high school! I honestly can't believe that 13+ years of education is over. I had a huge party last night for my birthday. There were at least 30 people there which was a little overwhelming. I found myself feeling a tad antisocial and overwhelmed.
Most of all I'm a little confused about some events which happened last night. I thought I was somewhat figured out in the whole "liking" and "relationship" department, but I'm not. Oh ho no. Last night just made things a million times worse and better at the same time.
Let's see... what else is new? I got the new Pokemon Diamond. I got a new Chocolate phone. And some sweet new clothes. I work tomorrow. Tonight is Baccalaureate and the summer's first game of Fugitive! Woot.
Most of all I'm a little confused about some events which happened last night. I thought I was somewhat figured out in the whole "liking" and "relationship" department, but I'm not. Oh ho no. Last night just made things a million times worse and better at the same time.
Let's see... what else is new? I got the new Pokemon Diamond. I got a new Chocolate phone. And some sweet new clothes. I work tomorrow. Tonight is Baccalaureate and the summer's first game of Fugitive! Woot.
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
Bloggity Blog
I don't write much anymore. It's weird!
Ummm what to say. Well, we have two more days of school left. It doesn't feel real. I'm a little worried about not passing a class, but I think it should be alright in the end. Everything is changing so fast. I have my job, bills to pay, looking at places to rent, graduation, yadda yadda yadda. I've wanted freedom for so long and now that it's coming to me so quickly, I'm having a hard time wanting to just dive right in.
There's been so many last things. We had our last Friday. Our last band concert. Our last issue of the newspaper. Everything is coming to the end. I feel like I'm just going to lose everything and everyone close to me. It's terribly frightening, to be honest. I feel like a complete baby.
Ummm what to say. Well, we have two more days of school left. It doesn't feel real. I'm a little worried about not passing a class, but I think it should be alright in the end. Everything is changing so fast. I have my job, bills to pay, looking at places to rent, graduation, yadda yadda yadda. I've wanted freedom for so long and now that it's coming to me so quickly, I'm having a hard time wanting to just dive right in.
There's been so many last things. We had our last Friday. Our last band concert. Our last issue of the newspaper. Everything is coming to the end. I feel like I'm just going to lose everything and everyone close to me. It's terribly frightening, to be honest. I feel like a complete baby.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)